Tomorrow is Ayden’s FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! I am so excited…but it all seems a little surreal to me. I cannot seem to wrap my mind around the fact that he is already a year old, yet at the same time, it feels like he has been with us forever. I can hardly remember life without him! I am so thankful for the Lord’s goodness and how He is blessing Ayden’s life…and ours through him.
So Ayden…this week is all about celebrating you! Know how special you are, and how passionately loved you are! My life is so much better with you in it! Thank you for being your remarkable self! I love you always!
Ayden is such a precious, undeserved gift! He is so full of JOY. There are so many things I love about him. I love how the Lord teaches me so much through him, even through one of his expressions captured in a photograph. (Thanks, Katie, for the amazing photo!!) I love the wonder, awe, excitement, and innocence that is painted all over his sweet face.
William and I have decided to take the next few weeks to intensify our focus on the Lord and what He has purposed for our family. It’s no secret that there is a lot of change headed our way. Good change…and a lot of it! I am praying for the Lord to completely captivate my soul, making me incapable of looking in any other direction. We serve such an incomprehensible God. We cannot taste even a glimpse of His glory without being forever altered. Over the next few weeks, I want my expression to look at lot like Ayden’s in this picture…
…full of wonder at the depth of His character and glory; full of excitement at what He has for us; full of abiding joy in His Spirit; and full of a childlike freedom and eagerness to follow Him wherever He leads.
This afternoon I had a doctor’s appointment and got to see my sweet girls! I cannot wait to meet them face to face. I am so thankful for how the Lord is forming them, and literally knitting them together in my womb! Brooklyn is weighing in at 2lbs 9oz and Chelsea is 2lbs 10oz! They are right on track with their growth. They will be here in NO MORE than 8 weeks (which will fly by, I’m sure)!! We are so excited and will be sure to keep you updated. Thank you so much for your prayers for our growing family!
We know that our God is eternal and everlasting. Today, this truth is sinking in deep and it is like water to my soul.
You never change, You’re still the same
You are the Everlasting God
You will remain after the day is gone and the things of earth have passed
Everlasting God
(Everlasting God, New Life Worship)
The God who sits on the throne today is the maker of heaven and earth. He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. He is the same one who appeared to Moses in a flaming bush, and walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day. He stays the same. He continues to be sovereign, and the whole earth is full of His glory. His Spirit lives in me…what a precious gift. Lord, there is NO ONE like you!
Sometimes I let my feelings get the better of me. I have an arsenal of excuses for this: I’m only human. I’m not perfect. I’m female. I’m pregnant. Need I go on? Like you, I realize how lame those excuses are, but isn’t it funny how we justify ourselves when we let our feelings rule our thinking? Feelings are rarely an accurate indicator of reality. I know that this is true, yet I either choose to ignore it or refuse to remember it. Whatever the case, it always leads to trouble and unnecessary tears. This is exactly what happened today.
I began to think about just how soon my precious twins will be here in my arms. We’re looking at 8-9 weeks tops! Am I ready for this?! I reminded myself of how often I fail as a wife and a parent, and convinced myself that I am utterly in adequate, grossly unprepared, and, in my estimation, the wrong person for this job. I concluded that I am in way over my head…which, of course, led to fear and worry. Why is it so easy to give into wrong thinking? Yes, I am inadequate. Yes, I am in way over my head. BUT, I must remember that He is sufficient, and that He is definitely not in over His head! Apart from Him, and His equipping, I am, without a doubt, the wrong person for this job, but He is the one who prepares us and makes us adequate to fulfill His calling.
He has intentionally chosen this for me. He chose Brooklyn and Chelsea, and He chose this particular place and time for their entrance into the world.
Acts 17:24-26, 28a “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands.And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else.From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’â€
What a privilege that He has also chosen William and I to be their parents. So, instead of my fear and worry, I should have a heart of joy and thankfulness. I am not ashamed of my complete and utter need of Him on a moment by moment basis. I would rather be here, in this place, at this time, than anywhere else that could possibly lead me to believe that I have it all together.
So, here is my confession: I don’t have it all together. I don’t have this! BUT, my capable and incomprehensible Lord does. I wouldn’t have it any other way. How thankful I am for His grace and His tenacity in refusing to leave me unmarked or unchanged.
Has it really been nearly a year?! Last January my life changed dramatically when my son, Ayden, entered the world. What unspeakable JOY! I cannot believe that he and I have spent almost an entire year together…and what a year it has been! I could never have imagined that my life could be so incredibly blessed and profoundly different in such a short span of time. The Lord’s plan has been far deeper and far more satisfying than I could have ever known. I have watched Him grow this little family, make us stronger in Him, teach us how to trust, and I have seen His faithfulness in a whole new way. He is so good and I don’t deserve Him! Ayden is a pure joy to spend my days with and I cannot begin to fathom how more intensely this joy will grow…
I like days like today. It’s cold and rainy out…the perfect day for staying in with Ayden and William. I enjoyed an amazing cup of chai, and have been looking at the book of James. There is so much for the Lord to teach me in these verses.
James 4:6b-10 says:
Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud , but gives grace to the humble.†Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
I think I will be studying this book for a while. These words today are what I believe my heart needs to hear. I need to remember that He opposes (acts against and heartily resists) the proud; that He gives grace to the humble.
I love this song by Brenton Brown. It is my prayer today. So thankful that this is the God I serve and who pursues my heart with relentless love. I want to be like you, Jesus; to have this heart in me. You are the God of the humble. You are the humble King.
